Wednesday, May 21, 2008


It's raining in Delhi. The rain makes me feel incredibly happy and incredibly depressed in the same vein. I'm incredibly happy because it is so beautiful and I love the rain and flowing water. I'm incredibly depressed because my life is not what I want it to be.

I don't know where my calling lies. What is the one thing that I love doing so much and that I am so good at that I can make my living from it? Where does my future lie? Why does my future lie?

Should I be in the advertising industry? Then why am I not? Why am I not able to get a single advertising agency to hire me? Am I not good enough for the advertising industry?

Should I be a writer? Then why am I thinking about writing and not writing? Why am I not writing articles for publications that will bring in some bread? Is my writing sale worthy?

Should I be an actor? Then why am I not doing any theatre? Why am I not looking seriously at the film industry? Why am I not talking with people from the industry? Am I a good actor?

Should I be a traveller? Should I be exploring the world? Then why am I not doing even minute trips in India? Why am I sitting at home?

Why am I waiting?

Monday, May 05, 2008

Free Bird

A landmark event happened today in my life. I quit my job. I still have to serve a month's notice period, but officially, I'm on my way out. And I feel exactly like this song by Lynyrd Skynyrd.

Although it hasn't sunk in yet, I am sure I will begin to feel it as the days go by, as I start to work even less and as I wrap up everything to be handed over. It will be a weird phase. What seemed a little strange though was the fact that this action today hardly caused a stir in the office. It seemed that people were sort of expecting the decision. It was certainly welcomed by my boss, if facial expressions are anything to go by.

So, now where do I go from here? Where does my path lead me? Do I have to forge a path? I'm looking to get into the advertising industry, something I've been wanting for a while. Unfortunately, it looks like the advertising industry would prefer to keep me at a distance. I also am working on a book. So, if I find no job in May, then I move to Bangalore and write, while continuing to look for jobs.

It should be one interesting roller coaster ride ahead. I hope my seat belts have passed safety regulations.