Friday, January 04, 2008

Filmy Cricket

Yuvraj Singh, part of the Indian cricket contingent that's currently touring Australia, has apparently very magnanimously called over Deepika Padukone, star of the film Om Shanti Om and hot property in Bollywood, to Sydney, where India is currently playing the second Test. Jan 5th is Deepika's birthday.

Now anybody who has been anywhere within a mile of any form of media (including champion consumers/ prosumers/ people) will know that there has been a sort of a love triangle that has been happening, or so it has been purported, between Deepika, Yuvraj and Mahendra Singh Dhoni, India's wicket-keeper. So what could happen on this Australian visit? Let me hazard a guess.

Yuvi is expecting to score some major brownie points for having called Deepika to Sydney for her birthday, and now that she has accepted, he is probably also expecting to score more than just brownie points. But Deepika celebrates her birthday with Dhoni, completely giving poor Yuvi the cold shoulder. This infuriates Yuvi and he decides that he must exact revenge for this insult to his honour.

In the third Test at Perth, with Deepika watching from the stands, Yuvi strides in confidently for his batting stint. He has failed the entire series and his place in the team is in jeopardy, but that is hardly the matter that is occupying his mind. In a serious bid to woo his lady back, Yuvi sets the ground alight with some dazzling strokeplay. He keeps checking on Deepika and she's smiling away. Yuvi's happy. Then the next Indian wicket falls, and in walks Dhoni. The crowd senses fireworks.

In true Bollywood style, Yuvi and Dhoni give each other the look in the middle. The Australians think it is some sort of mind game that is being applied by the Indians and, unable to figure it out, start to feel very jittery. If Yuvi had set the ground alight earlier, then Dhoni was the true arsonist. He bludgeons the ball to every corner of the ground and the stands. Yuvi throws a quick furtive look at Deepika. The smile's bigger, but the gaze is elsewhere. Yuvi is burning.

Yuvi smashes a huge six. Dhoni hits two the next over. Yuvi responds with three the following over. Dhoni calmly hits four sixes the next over. Yuvi gives it everything he has, except the kitchen sink, and rockets five sixes into the stands the following over. Dhoni is on strike. The crowd has already gone stark raving mad with excitement. Dhoni gives it the kitchen sink as well and sends all six deliveries of the over into the stands. Before he hits the last one, he raises his bat and points it to Deepika and then smashes the last ball over her head and out of the ground. Deepika is jumping and clapping. Yuvi sees red. The Australians are hapless.

Unable to top, or even match, that suave effort from Dhoni, Yuvi hatches an evil plot. He gets Dhoni run out. As Dhoni walks back to the pavillion, stinging from the back-stabbing, he avows his revenge. Soon enough, the Indian innings comes to an end and they take the field. Well into the Australian innings comes the moment that Dhoni has been waiting for. Yuvi is given the ball for a spot of bowling.

Yuvi, still keen to impress Deepika, is bowling with tremendous effort, and the effort is paying off. He is constantly threatening the Australian batsmen and looks like he might take a wicket any delivery now. One of the Australian batsmen, unable to get Yuvi away, dances down the track to attack. He misses, Dhoni collects the ball cleanly, and then calmly walks away from the stumps without effecting the stumping. The batsman looks at Dhoni as if he were crazy. Whispers of match-fixing grow louder. Dhoni has settled the score.

A few Australian wickets fall and Brett Lee strides in. Soon enough, he is facing Yuvi. He swats him for a huge six. Then, to the surprise of everyone and in a completely unexpected development, Deepika jumps off her seat and runs on to the ground, escaping security guards. Both Dhoni and Yuvi stand rooted to their spots, waiting to see to whom she goes. Deepika runs toward the centre of the two Indians, straight to Brett Lee. Lee, having recorded a song with Asha Bhosle, knows exactly what is about to happen. He and Deepika sing and dance in the Perth cricket ground, running around the players Bollywood style.



Yuvi and Dhoni, both having been slighted, make up and become best friends again. The Indians, miffed that an Australian has stolen a beautiful Indian woman, and Deepika Padukone no less, go at the Australians with renewed vigour. The Australians go on to lose the Test match by the biggest margin ever in the history of Test cricket.

Now that Brett Lee is no longer part of the winning side, Deepika drops him like a hot potato and comes back to the Indians. But the Indians have wisened up and they refuse to welcome her back into their dressing room, because only a woman can break the greatest of friendships and the Indian team values its friendship more than anything else. Deepika leaves Australia dejected and heart-broken. However, back home in India, she is welcomed as the saviour of Indian cricket and she becomes bigger than Mandira Bedi.

Note: The players and the model in the video are not the characters mentioned above and are only representative.

4 comments:

n.aka.zephyr said...

Awesome story!!!!!!
Imagine as Deepika runs towards Brett Lee... you can hear background music and Lee singing in hindi ... main tera hoon (the song he sang with asha bhosle)
:D :D

p.s: I used to love this cadbury's ad.. it was one of my fav ads... to see it after so many years brings back lovely memories :)

n.aka.zephyr said...

Awesome story!!!!!!
Imagine as Deepika runs towards Brett Lee... you can hear background music and Lee singing in hindi ... main tera hoon (the song he sang with asha bhosle)
:D :D

p.s: I used to love this cadbury's ad.. it was one of my fav ads... to see it after so many years brings back lovely memories :)

Rags said...

@ n.aka.zephyr:

Thanks. I'm so glad that you loved it so much that you left the same comment twice :D

I love this ad too. It always gives me goosebumps and makes me grin silly.

UnApologetic Confessions said...

Rags your imagination is a treat to my grey cells....