I’ve hit the sack, my eyes have closed, but I can’t sleep. Sleep. I need to sleep, it is a part of my schedule, but my mind refuses to switch off. Everything is locked up in my mind forever because there is no key. Am I going insane?
Why do I blame myself for everything? Why do I accept responsibility, partly or wholly, for somebody else’s sins even though I had nothing to do with them? Why can’t I just learn to accept and move on? Does change really happen? Is change worth the mental ordeal and trauma? Utopia does not exist except in our heads. Accept it and move on. Never strive for it.
A man can never run away from his thoughts. He can never escape. He is always held prisoner for life by his mind, and there is nothing he can do about it, no one he can turn to except for temporary solace and succour. He is doomed. I am doomed. We all are doomed.